Monday, October 10, 2011

Parenting the Little Boogers

Jarrod and I really are spoiled. We honestly wonder if we should have other kids because Spence has been relatively (dare I say....) easy. Now, while he is pretty compliant and tender-hearted, he definitely has his moments of madness. He can be whiney and stubborn (both things I'm sure he gets from his dad). :)

Anyway, I have felt at a loss recently. It's so difficult to see the bigger picture of discipline. Often, in the middle of a trantrum where we're both buckling down hard, I think "I should've just said 'yes'." We've tried time-out, awards charts, spanking, taking away privileges...all work at temporarily changing the behavior but I'm unsure about real long-term change.

This weekend, Jarrod and I went to parenting conference here in STL with Paul Tripp. I expected a typical conference where I'd be ready to peace out the door about an hour in. However, instead, I found myself really entertained, educated, and enlightened (he should use that on his website). Anyway, he began by saying that if a parent's goal is to simply constrain and control behavior, you will have failed as a parent. I immediately realized that was me. I don't care if Spence cusses me under his breath as long as he doesn't throw a tantrum in the bathtube. I'm so concerned with his BEHAVIOR rather than his HEART.

He offered great tips on helping children see that their improper motives in their behavior lead to negative consequences.

It was so great, in fact, that I bought the DVD to share. I realize that if, in fact, ANYONE actual reads this, they probably live in Huntington where (if we're honest) there aren't a lot of opportunities for incredible speakers. I'd LOVE to let anyone borrow the DVD. It would be easy to get through - I think it's 10 sessions of 25 minutes each.

I'm going to be stalking some of you to borrow it (as I've seen your facebook statuses...) :) Anyway, just let me know. While ridiculously convicting it was also inspirng. Love from the big City. :)